Wednesday, July 05, 2006
Friday, June 09, 2006
If you want to see an example of my writing, go to www.mugglenet.com and search the fanfiction for shadowgirl573. The first chapter will be posted as soon as it is approved by a moderator.
I need an outlet. I feel trapped, like I am bound in cloth cacoon-like. The walls push ever inward, I have difficulty breathing the emotion is so vivid it hurts. It’s like being insane and having some conscious part of you realize it and be unable to restore sanity. Every nerve is stretched taut to the breaking point, feeling the charge in the very air. Something is coming but what? What will happen to me if nothing does? I need to sleep not dream not think forget myself drift away leave the world behind. Someone help me before I break. The pressure threatens to snap me, the emotion threatens to overwhelm me, I need to be touched. I need to feel something powerful and real to create enough space to handle the phantoms, control them, master myself.
I am so clueless, so lost. How do I ever manage? I need guidance, focus, and direction. I need a teacher and mentor that I can tell anything to. Hello, are you out there! I need you imaginary person. I need you right now! Do you hear me?
I mourn for those I do not know, have never known. I have an excess of empathy. I feel the pain of others as if I were the one suffering. Sometimes the grief is so heavy that I cannot breathe, my bones feel it too. I want to scream at the sky, to cry, but I can’t. People would ask questions and what would I tell them. The burden is not mine but I carry a little of it? No, such a thing is not accepted, not acceptable. It would solve nothing. It would hurt probably.
I am bored I am bored, bored, bored let me say it again. Freedom, freedom please, please what do I have to do to get some privacy. It’s really amazing. It’s so unfair that the Internet works in nick’s room, but not mine really truly unfair. I’m angry but I’m still channeling sadness, grief, despair, and pain. I think I’m channeling the whole world’s misery. It’s starting to become a pain I don’t know what I’m going to do if I keep channeling. seriously. It’s playing havoc with my emotions and wellbeing. I don’t want to be a vessel for other’s misery and depression. Who’s sadness am I channeling anyway, where is it coming from? I need to find out because I need to find a way to effectively block it out. I don’t mind sometimes, it’s good for writing, but not all the time. I think maybe I invited it in, but now I can’t get it to leave and I can’t control it. Maybe I just have suppressed emotions and this is my sub-conscience’s way of alleviating all my pent up emotions using particularly strong, virulent ones to get my attention. Also choices I would prefer more in my nature than giddiness. Still, any overload of emotion is taxing and draining. Again I ask you where is it coming from???!!!!
Wednesday, May 17, 2006
Rant about Little People Big World a.k.a. Zach Rant
Seriously, this annoys me. He doesn't even seem to consider the possibility of dating average size people.How discriminatory is that. I, mean, that's like me saying no you're not taller than me, so there's possibility of our being compatible on any level or if you're not my height you can't possibly relate to me. Give me a break peoples.